The Self-Sufficient Child: Raising Children that Can Stand on their Own

Raising a self-sufficient child is quite the challenge. As parents, we want the best for our children. We want them to have the things we could not have as children plus everything that we did have. We want them to feel loved at every turn. In short, it is the nature of mom and dad to want to spoil their children. Most of us know that this might not lead to a positive end, yet at the same time, it is very difficult to not spoil them. Even when we don't want to give our children too much, it is hard to know where the line is. How much is too much? Where do we stop?

There are many ways to give your child enough to know that they are loved without giving them so much that they begin to take it all for granted or become dependent on what you give and cannot take care of themselves properly.

One excellent example is the various forms of games and events that children are often involved in. As parents, you definitely want your children to be involved in extra-curricular activities, as you should. Extra-curricular activities promote the emotional and psychological well being of a child. Diversity builds character. However, this is a point in which you have to approach carefully. You have to consider the long-term effect over your own wants and needs.

You love your children and want to be present for every game or event that they are involved in. You want to show them that you care and will cheer them on. However, you need to realize that you have to pull back and rein in your own wants and needs. You need to have a life that is more than just living for your children.

If you attend every single event that your child is involved in, then it soon becomes normal to that child and they don't learn to give their best when you are not there. You need to stand back. Visit the major events and let your children be by themselves for other games and activities. This will teach your child that they don't have to have Mom and Dad there at every single occasion. They will learn that they can do certain things by themselves, and still come out a winner. You need to teach your children to cheer for themselves and to not need you to be there for them to be successful.

Go and sign up for a sports or health activity for yourself while they are playing their games. Show your kids that everyone has to take care of their physical health. Show them you have a healthy life and let them learn from you. Don't worry about what other parents would say about you. Be the leader and teach them the right way which is not sitting on the bleachers every day and being overweight while you want your kids succeed in sports.

Teach your kids to cheer for themselves because they know they do a great job for their own good and not for getting your approval. Cheer for them when they are home and communicate their activities and their success with you. Your job is to teach your children to do sports and extra activities for themselves and not for you.

You absolutely can attend the play-offs or some of other major events. Before, during and after these events, you can applaud your children all you want. Praise them until they can't take it any more. Tell them that they are your superstars and that you are proud of them. This is sufficient to build their confidence and keep them independent at the same time.

As your child grows and matures, you will begin to see the effect of your holding back at certain times. You will see your child continues with their sports and other activities and stays healthy in life and doesn't stop when you are not around. You will see they do things for their own good and don't need outside approval. You will see they become independent adults who can take care of themselves and don't need everyone's support to make day to day decisions.